Have a Joke and a Smile!

It’s Saturday, and Saturday is Joke Day! Have a Joke and a Smile!

As said by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:  “Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.”

1. The Secret of Women
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

2. Who’s the Boss?
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a big burly man — tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your trousers,” she said.
“That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family.”
With that she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.”
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. “Hell,” he said. ”I can’t get into your panties!”
She replied, “That’s right, and that’s the way its going to stay until your attitude changes.”

3. The FBI Interviews
Three men want to become agents for the FBI. After a day of intensive interviews, they are told there is one more test to prove their dedication to the FBI. The head FBI agent takes the first guy into a private room. He hands him a gun and says, “Go into that room and kill your wife.” The guy says, “No way,” and leaves FBI headquarters.

The second guy goes through the same proceedings. He walks into the second room, but on seeing his wife decides that she is worth more than a good job, and he, too, refuses.

Finally the third guy is given the gun and told to kill his wife. He walks into the second room and six shots are heard. A few seconds later, the head FBI agent hears crashing and banging from the room. After a few minutes, the guy comes out of the room. “What happened?” asks the FBI agent.

“Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks… I had to kill her with the chair.”

4. Hairy Problem
A lady walks into her doctors office screaming.
She yells, “Doctor, Doctor my breasts are hairy! What do I do?”

The doctor asks, “Well, how long does the hair grow?”

The lady replies, “From here to my penis, but that’s a different story!”